Vaginal stimulation would be what I call "indirect clitoral stimulation.

You'll just have to add fantasy and maybe some sex toys later on to keep it lively.

The project of coming during intercourse alone seems ridiculous since you have successfully discovered these other alternatives.

Consider the possibility that your masturbation technique needs improving.

I too ended up using d-mannose years ago and it works

Consider sharing masturbation together so you can see how each of you handles your sex organs.

There isn't a "spot" in your vagina that will bring you to orgasm. Your clitoral system is complex. It's about clitoral stimulation with vaginal penetration.

Female ejaculate is clear not white like male ejaculation. Our sexual response is totally different.

My first thought was doing Kegel exercises and improving your pelvic floor muscle tone.

I've never actually seen an intact hymen.