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Dr. Betty-

I really hope you can help because I've never been able to find any info about this or even find someone who believes me. When I orgasm, I poop a little. I don't know if I'm actually pushing without realizing it or just loosening my sphincter, but it happens every time. I don't have any continence issues and go to the bathroom before I get busy, so it's not an issue of nature calling.

Now I'm so self conscious about it that when I even get close to orgasm I start to worry and end up stopping before I hit the finish line. I've tried to just not care and just clean up after, but it's frankly gross. Why does this happen, and how can I stop it?

L

Dear L,

While urinary incontinence is quite common, fecal or bowel incontinence is not. Since I have no information or experience with this, I Googled fecal incontinence. There is a lot of info available but I ended up on the Mayo Clinic website. This is what they had to say:

"Fecal incontinence is the inability to control your bowel movements, causing stool (feces) to leak unexpectedly from your rectum. Also called bowel incontinence, fecal incontinence ranges from an occasional leakage of stool while passing gas to a complete loss of bowel control.

Common causes of fecal incontinence include constipation, diarrhea, and muscle or nerve damage. Fecal incontinence may be due to a weakened anal sphincter associated with aging or to injury to the nerves and muscles of the rectum and anus from giving birth.

Whatever the cause, fecal incontinence can be embarrassing. But don't shy away from talking to your doctor. Many treatments - some of them simple - are available that can improve, if not correct, fecal incontinence."

Since I'm a sexologist and not an MD, my information is limited. However, my first thought was doing Kegel exercises and improving your pelvic floor muscle tone. Check out my information under Betty's Barbell that works for women with urinary incontinence while also improving their orgasms. Until you find a solution, by all means continue to enjoy your orgasms alone. It's your poop so it's no big deal. Stop thinking this is "gross." Just get baby mattress pads and wet wipes to keep by your bedside. I'm also a big believer in paying attention to what we eat and how our bowels are eliminating. How about a colonic? If none of this works, then it's time to look for a doctor you trust. This is an opportunity to become your own health care advocate. PLease let me know what you discover.

Dr. Betty