Articles

Hi Betty,

I just found your website after reading an about Eric Amaranth in Marie Claire. I loved the essay you wrote on the G spot. I only seem to be able to orgasm from clitoral stimulation (via oral) with simultaneous g-spot stimulation (a finger or dildo). I have orgasmed from vaginal sex alone about twice in my life.

The first time had everything to do with the way my partner was moving his hips, twisting and grinding against my clit. after rereading this, obviously he was stimulating my clit while fucking me. The second time, my partner had gone down on me for quite some time (while I was close to orgasming, ultimately I didn't) then we had sex for at least 30 minutes. We went from missionary to me on top and then finished in missionary and I was able to orgasm.

Since then (over ten years ago), it hasn't happened. I'm just wondering if you could suggest some positions to try that might increase my chance of orgasming without myself or my partner directly stimulating my clit with a finger or vibrator?

Thanks so much!
A

Dear AD,

You have pretty much covered most of the possibilities for enjoying orgasms during partnersex. The project of coming during intercourse alone seems ridiculous since you have successfully discovered these other alternatives. If you want to spend the next 10 years trying to achieve this romanticized image of heterosexuality, be sure to keep notes.

Maybe some day we will be able to figure out why this particular concept of avoiding our clits took hold of people's imagination. Or you can simply relax and enjoy what's already happening which sounds good to me.

Dr. Betty