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Dr. Betty,

Hi, I have a problem...I'm 47 and a lesbian with what seems to be an abnormally high sex drive...I haven't met another woman yet who comes close to wanting it as much as I do. It's gotten to the point that I truly think maybe there's something wrong with me becasue every relationship I have, my partner NEVER wants it half as much as I do. I can masturbate for hours and even then it only just takes the "edge" off. Is it possible that maybe I have too much testosterone in my system?? Every other woman I know can take or leave sex and I want it all the time and therefore stay perpetually frustrated all the time.

Please, I need to know if I'm normal.

Perpetually Frustrated Lesbian

Dear Perpetually Frustrated Lesbian,

Given our sex negative culture and the automatic repression that gets laid onto the female sex role, it's understandable why so many women have problems with sexual expression of any kind. Women with high sex drives are relatively rare but do exist. It's normal but not average. I'd say your sex drive is extra-ordinary but I'm confused when you say you can't
get any satisfaction with yourself.

Some things to consider: You are not having complete orgasms but get close and therefore need to continue --- until exhausted. Or perhaps you are exaggerating a bit about "just taking the edge off" after hours of masturbating.

Consider the possibility that your masturbation technique needs improving. Also it's quite easy to get your hormone levels checked at any woman's clinic. At 47 your hormones could be fluctuating as you approach menopause. It's also rare to find partners that match us completely. Your best bet is finding another woman who likes sex enough to "just take the edge off" and then fill in with self-loving using a Magic Wand and lots of almond oil. Consider getting involved in some kind of athletic outlet like working out or a vigorous sport. In a way, yours is a high class problem but feeling sexually frustrated is no fun. When you find a solution, let me know.

Dr. Betty