Dear Dr. Betty

What is the difference between orgasm and ejaculation in women? And in men too, for that matter?

Dear R,

Good question: When a man ejaculates too quickly (as in premature ejaculation), the sensation is not all that satisfying. It's a reflex that has no build-up behind it. An orgasm that follows a period of time of building up pleasurable sensations will be far more satisfying. Not that coming fast doesn't relieve some tension, but the quality of the pleasure experienced is minimal.

Hi Betty,

I had an interesting experience recently while playing at a swing club with my husband. This guy started playing with my vulva and said that he was going to make me "squirt". I thought that was unlikely since I'd never had it happen before. I was thoroughly enjoying the sensations and was apparently very loud. Suddenly I realize that I'm being sprinkled with something wet and realize that I am ejaculating on myself. The whole process took only about 5 or so minutes, mind you, I had been touched prior to this for sometime as well.

Hi Dr. Betty,

Hi Betty

Hi Betty and Carlin,

I'm in my 40's and just getting back out there after my 25 year marriage ended. My sex life with the ex was not too exciting. A new guy I've been seeing for a few months is more adventurous sexually (I took a tip from Betty and went out with a younger guy LOL). Anyhow, this guy seems obsessed with getting me to "squirt" and even makes me feel like there's something wrong with me because I can't pull it off.