Can Masturbating Too Much Kill Your Orgasms During Sex?
Betty Dodson
Submitted on
Hi Dr. Betty,
Is it possible to masturbate too much that it can actually be stopping me from being able to have an orgasm with my boyfriend? I'm 20 years old and I have had three sexual partners. I had sex for the first time when I was 18 and I was able to orgasm with my boyfriend then (only from being on top). But not with the following two, which includes my current boyfriend. Since I haven't been able to orgasm with him, I brought it up one night and he said he thinks the reason I can't with him is because I masturbate every single day so when he and I are together, I'm so used to doing it with myself that nothing he is going to do will get me going in the same way.
I'm beginning to feel like that is true. When I'm doing it myself, I either use a pillow, or a vibrator, which creates very strong sensations that aren't easily imitated by his hands or rubbing up against his penis. Rubbing up against him feels really great, but it never gets me there and I'm starting to wonder if I can be re-taught to orgasm with a man, instead of a pillow.
Thanks,
K
Dear K,
Where is it written that your orgasm must be given to you by your boyfriend during partnersex? How about sharing masturbation together so you can both see and learn your preferred kind of genital stimulation. Why can't you use your vibrator during sex with him? Or reach down while he's penetrating you vaginally and do your clitoris the same as when you masturbate?
Yes, you can cut back on masturbating every day and retire your vibrator and pillow, but you must then be willing to take the time to relearn other forms of clitoral stimulation. I also don't understand how you can get off on a pillow or a vibrator. Those are two very different kinds of clitoral stimulation. Consider the other pleasures of sex with him and don't make such a big deal out of coming some specific way. You have many years ahead of you to enjoy sex so don't be in such a hurry to get all your orgasms from penis/vagina intercourse. It rarely works consistently for most women.
Dr. Betty