Stimulate your clitoris while his penis is nearing your vagina.
Your cross-legged style of masturbation is quite common among women.
The orgasms you have with yourself are usually the best, but every now and then when the stars line up in the just the right way, partnersex can be profound.
All women need to learn how to "run the fuck" and control penetration.
Female sexual capabilities far exceed that of the male.
I sounds like five years of monogamy have dampened your desire and getting married sealed your fate.
So go ahead and give yourself permission to have protected sex with as many men as you like.
Instead of referring to the vibrator as "an addiction" I prefer to call it a sexual preference!
I discovered how great the electric vibrator was and to this this day, oral sex is great foreplay, but it's never an end to creating my orgasm.
There are no thought police...it's normal to look outside your relationship for inspiration.