Taking a Bodysex workshop is transformative. We focus on overcoming negative body image and pleasure anxiety.
Yes, they're done in the nude but it's not sexual. Betty developed these workshops using the consciousness raising model of second wave feminism where women got together and shared their experience first person. You can read about past workshops to better understand the experience here (scroll down to read blog posts written by Carlin and our Bodysex leaders).
Whatever your race, orientation, upbringing, or country of origin, we have wounds to heal. All are welcome.
The next workshops will be held Fall 2018 on these dates. It's a two day workshop:
- October 13/14 (for women who've taken one workshop and want to be certified to run workshops themselves)
- November 10/11
- December 8/9
They take place at Betty's apartment in midtown manhattan from 1-6pm Saturday and Sunday.
The suggested donation is $1,200.00 by check OR $1,000.00 by cash - we prefer cash :) And we have a student/hardship reduced price of $800.00.
This include everything you'll need (you get to take the vaginal barbell home with you).
To reserve a spot in one of the workshops, send me an email:
Let me know what dates you prefer.
Once I confirm a spot is available, you can make a $200 non-refundable deposit to reserve your spot in the workshop (the $200 deposit goes toward the total workshop donation of $1,200 by check or $1,000 by cash or $800 student/hardship rate): donate.
You can pay the rest of the fee in a series of donations or pay by check/cash the day of the workshop.
If you're traveling from out of town here are some hotels close to Betty's apartment.
On the economical side:
You can rent a room or an entire apartment on Airbnb.
On the pricer side:
The Roger Hotel
Frequently asked questions:
What if I have my period?
No problem. I have my period for almost every workshop. You can use a tampon, menstrual cup, or a piece of natural sea sponge during genital show & tell and erotic recess. Personally, I use my menstrual cup during genital show & tell and then switch to my diaphragm on Day 2 so I can experience penetration with the barbell during erotic recess.
What if I have a yeast infection?
No problem. I would recommend some cranberry pills or the monistat egg to treat your yeast infection then head over to Betty's.
What if I can't orgasm?
If you orgasm, great. If you don't, that's ok too. Orgasm is NOT the goal. We're here to heal body shame, overcome sexual guilt and experience true sisterhood. There's no agenda and no expectations.
Can I buy Betty's memoir at the workshop?
Yes. You can buy Sex for One and My Romantic Love Wars and have Betty sign your copy. All of our dvds are also available for sale.
Can I keep the mystic wand?
The price of the barbell is included in the workshop fee. If you want to keep the mystic wand you used during the workshop, you can and the price is $69.99.
Can I bring my own barbell and wand?
Yes. If you've already purchased the barbell and the wand, you can bring them with you to the workshop.
Can I bring something to eat?
Of course. We provide beverages (bottled water) and cookies. I've served veggies with dip, salads, sandwiches...but no one eats it. Women want a bit of sugar and that's it.
If you have any other questions, you can email me directly: firstname.lastname@example.org
I wish every young woman could take a workshop and connect with herself as part of her sexual rite of passage. Hope to see you
To reserve a spot in one of the workshops, send me an email:
If you have any questions or would like to start the certification process, send an email to email@example.com
Bodysex Certification. We've started a bodysex certification program for women who want to run their own bodysex workshops.
You're required to take one workshop, a second workshop with other women seeking certification, and then write a thesis you'll defend. Your thesis statement will describe your own sex history, how your family dealt with masturbation, what you believe is wrong with how the culture handles sexuality and what you would do to change it.
The total fee for certification is $5,000 - two workshop fees of $1,000.00 plus one last donation of $3,000.00.
Our goal is to certify women to hold their own Bodysex workshops so that the Betty Dodson method of self-love and sisterhood continues and expands to every country around the world.
When Betty and I first got together, we had this vision of a world map with red lights being illuminated every time someone clicked on D&R. Now we feel that those red lights represent women certified in the Betty Dodson method as each woman holds her own Bodysex workshops.
The workshops are based on the consciousness raising groups that started during the 70's Feminist Movement when women got together, and speaking first person, shared their experiences as women. Betty took CR groups one step further by including women's orgasms and body image to create “sexual consciousness raising groups” which she later renamed “Bodysex”.
We will train, certify, and support each woman as she holds these workshops. There will be a learning curve and we will be available for your questions and to give you our feedback. It will take time to build a name for yourself. We want you to be successful and to honor the Betty Dodson brand.
The certification process will take one year to complete if you take a workshop in the Spring and a certification workshop in the Fall (or vice versa) and complete/present your thesis in a timely manner. It’s really up to you how long the process takes.
Betty Dodson Brand: All certified members will be granted a license to use the “Betty Dodson” brand in marketing their workshops. Your workshops can be marketed as an official “Betty Dodson Bodysex Workshop”.
Advertising: All certified members will be granted advertising space on D&R.com to promote their workshops under “Bodysex”. Your ad will include a description/bio/pic of you and the upcoming dates of your workshop listed by region.
Direct Communication: Betty and Carlin will be available by email and skype with any questions you have during the roll out of your workshops.
Diploma: All certified members will receive a diploma signed by Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross.
I. Participation in two Bodysex Workshops. You must attend one regular Bodysex workshop and one workshop assembled for women seeking certification. Here is a schedule of the fees per workshop. We require a $200 deposit to reserve your spot in all workshops:
- $1,000 if you pay in cash
- $1,200 if you pay by check/credit card
- $ 800 if you’re a student or have a financial hardship
Several women have asked what qualifies as a financial hardship. Please email Carlin firstname.lastname@example.org with a description of your hardship but know that the following count:
- being a single mom
- serving in the military
- raising a family living on one income
There will be a final payment of $3,000 payable by installments if needed.
II. Sex Essay. You must submit a sex essay describing the following:
• Your parent’s attitude towards sex
• Your religious upbringing
• Your first memory of masturbation
• Your first partner sex
• Your current sex life
III. Interview. Once you submit your sex essay, you’ll have your first interview with us (in person or via skype).
IV. Completion of Curriculum. You must read/listen/watch the following course materials:
• Betty's full articles on D&R
• Betty’s memoir "Sex By Design" (you can get a signed copy at the workshop or ask for the ebook and I'll email it to you)
• All audio/video podcasts on Bodysex.
And the following books because we love them:
The Ethical Slut
Sex at Dawn
The Alphabet vs. The Goddess
The Technology of Orgasm
Ecstasy is Necessary
The Function of Orgasm - this is a hard read...it's more about knowing about Reich's beliefs surrounding orgasm because he is the only man who influenced Betty's work.
V. Thesis statement (it's just a long essay). You must study these materials and write your thesis that will be published online.
Part 1 of your thesis will describe your process of becoming orgasmic and the consequences of sexual repression, more specifically, how the repression of chlldhood masturbation blocks orgasm.
Part 2 of your thesis will describe your vision for healing human sexuality and how you would end sexual repression.
This is a first person statement that should be roughly 10-15 pages in length. We’re not looking for you to cite research or third party sources (although you can use them as a compass for your work). We’re looking for you to share your own personal experience - what it’s like living in a sexually repressed culture and how you plan to change the world.
You will defend your thesis (in person or via skype). Think of this more as a conversation than an official presentation. We want to know about your world perspective and your goals.
VI. Donation of $3,000 to the Betty Dodson Foundation.
We will conduct one final exit interview (in person or via skype). You must be sex positive and have an understanding of group dynamics – we have to believe that you can lead a workshop. Then you will receive your diploma signed by Betty and Carlin and you can start running groups.
Post-Certification: Upon receiving your certification, we’ll post your contact information on D&R listing you as a workshop resource. For your first several groups, you’ll have your attendees send us an email describing their experience. This will help us better understand your skill level and what you need to work on.
You will make mistakes and that’s OK. We live in a sexually repressed culture and realize you may experience some negative reviews. We understand.
Revocation of Certification. We reserve the right to revoke your certification for the following reasons:
• Inability to connect with other people
• Anger management issues
• Sex negativity
• Unclean space
• Not adhering to the Betty Dodson method and principles
• Antisocial behavior
• Multiple complaints from attendees
You will receive notice in writing that your certification is under review. Then, you’ll submit your written response and we will issue our final determination. In the event your certification is revoked, you will cease advertising your services, we will delete your ad from D&R, and you will return all certification materials.
We put together Betty Dodson Bodysex Basics a book that you can purchase on Amazon....here are the highlights below:
Creating a Bodysex Space:
Your workshop space must be safe, warm, clean, and beautiful. You are creating a temple for female sexual expression. Here are the absolutes:
You need to choose an assistant. It’s nearly impossible to run a workshop by yourself. Pick someone who’s sex positive (they love sex) and are organized.
The floor must be carpeted. You can’t have women sitting naked on a hard wood floor. And laying down towels or yoga mats isn’t enough. There must be wall-to-wall carpeting or a large area rug so that every woman has carpet beneath her.
Temperature: We use little space heaters in the winter months to warm up the room before a workshop. It can’t be too warm on Day 1. Make sure there aren’t any drafts in your space and the place is nice and toasty.
NO MEN IN THE CIRCLE: You’ll get a ton of requests from men and husbands who want to join the circle. As soon as a man is present, everything changes. Women stop being honest and begin performing. Only women can take a Bodysex workshop.
NO CAMERAS: Cameras always affect our spontaneity. Even if women agree to photos don’t take them. This is an intense emotional experience and consent can’t be freely given.
All women entering the circle must be nude. Answer the door naked and ask them to remove their clothes right away. Don’t let them keep their bras on or wear a robe. It will break down the equality of the circle.
All the barbells and vibrators used in the circle must be sterilized. I take the barbells out of their packaging and I put them in a pot of water on the stove and bring it to a boil. Then I shut off the stove, pour out the hot water, and fill the pot with cold water to cool off the barbells. Let them sit in the cold water for 10 minutes or so and they’ll be ready to go. Women get to keep the barbells.
We do reuse the vibrators. After a workshop, I rub them down with a Clorox wipe and then a damp rag and store them in a clean box. Then, I do this process again right before a workshop and place them on the trays that sit alongside each person. The trays also hold a glass for water, a bottle of almond oil and a box of Kleenex.
You’re going to have to purchase back jacks for the women to sit on during the workshop. You can’t have women sitting on the floor because they’re backs will ache. Place a towel over each back jack to avoid any staining. Pick up some small throw pillows to use for extra back support and the "pillow fuck" that takes place the second day.
Have a large tray placed in the center of the circle and several candles. Betty always starts the workshop by lighting the candles. She prefers white to represent healing. It’s good idea to begin each group with the Breath of Fire (50 short belly breaths then two deep breaths followed by holding your breath for as long as it’s comfortable. Oxygen is energizing and it puts everyone more at ease
We always provide water and snacks. I’ve cut up veggies and small sandwiches but no one eats them. The women prefer fruit (berries, pineapple, watermelon), and some sort of cookies with chocolate. During erotic recess on Day 2, I bring in a pitcher of water with the cookies and place them on a tray in the middle of the circle. After a few orgasms, it’s nice to roll up and nibble on a cookie and rehydrate.
Pick up a freestanding mirror with an 8 inch surface and lamp that can be aimed for genital show & tell. You must sit next to the woman displaying her vulva so you can both look into the same mirror together. Bring her in close until your bodies touch. This is about non-sexual contact that is reassuring. This is about comfort and mothering.
Keep copies of Betty’s anatomy diagrams and use them at the end of genital show & tell so the women can gain a better understanding of their bodies. You don’t have to know everything but take them through the basics. And if you don’t know something don’t fake it. You can always ask us to clarify the material.
Menstruation: You can have your period and take a workshop. Day 1 they can use a tampon or menstrual cup. Day 2 they can use a sea sponge during penetration with the barbell. I suggest picking up some and having them on site: http://www.amazon.com/eBubbles-Natural-Silk-Sea-Sponges/dp/B0008GRS60/re...
Pregnancy. We’ve had several pregnant women take workshops. It’s always kind of magical. Also women who've had a breast removed due to cancer experience a healing. All scars from any surgery are badges of honor.
Social media is invaluable for promoting your workshops. You should have a facebook fan page as well as your personal account. You should also have a twitter account and blog about your work. And when you write about the groups it’s about your experience – don’t share personal things women have shared. It’s about your reflections. Always blog first person. If you write something, send me the link and I’ll promote it over all of our social media accounts.
I recommend using paypal and have women make a down payment to reserve their spot in your workshop. That way you'll know they’re serious about showing up. You can use paypal for all your fees or accept the final monies in cash or check.
I manage all my enrollment over email and create a new contact group for each Bodysex workshop so I can communicate directly with the women from each workshop. Gmail is great for all of this. I also write down their email addresses in a book so I have a hard copy in case something catastrophic happens. It always pays to be organized.
I share my cell number with the women once they register and make their down payment. They need to know that if anything comes up they can contact you. I send out emails with all the information they need (date, location, time, price, my cell #) one month before the workshop, unless they’re traveling then I forward the address right away so they can make arrangements.
Then I send out a group email two weeks and again one week before each workshop with the same information so they don’t need to dig through their emails to find anything. When I send my group emails, I send it directly to my email address and bcc the women. You can’t share their email address with anyone without express permission.
Holding the Space:
No one can teach you how to be a workshop leader. Holding the space is something that you’re going to learn with each workshop. Just remember that leaders model what they want from their group. Always begin the group share (how you feel about your body/orgasm) by going first. Be honest. Don’t over talk or attendees will also over talk.
Set boundaries: I’ve seen Betty share and then before going around the circle announce, “I want to know how you feel about your body and your orgasm. I don’t want details about your partners. This is about your sexuality." Some women will focus on others to avoid talking first person about themselves.
Keep the circle moving. Don’t be afraid to break in and end a woman’s share if she’s going on too long. You can also state from the beginning that you want to hear from each woman but that we only have a certain amount of time for each share. Depending on the size of the group, each woman’s share should be 5-10 minutes max. Genital show & tell takes at least 2 or 2.5 hours, sometimes longer.It's OK to go overtime if necessary.
If a woman starts to cry, acknowledge her, but don’t let her take control of the group. Betty’s best line is, “I hear your pain, but we’re here to explore pleasure so we must move on.” In over 25 years of holding groups, Betty has only asked 2 women to leave the circle because they were not ready to explore pleasure. They need to work with a therapist to deal with their sexual abuse issues.
Since we started running groups again we haven’t had an issues with women needing to leave the workshop. I think that’s because they’re able to watch Betty Dodson’s Bodysex Workshop DVD, so they know what to expect when they sign up. It’s a good idea to ask attendees to watch the film before they book a space with you.
Don’t hesitate to ask women to speak up during the group shares. Most women have been conditioned to be soft talkers and that includes you. Make sure you ground your own voice and project it when you run a group. When I was a new attorney, I would video tape myself to see how I looked/sounded in the courtroom. You should record your voice, play it back, and listen to how you sound. You are leading with your voice. Betty said she used a tape recorder to listen to her own voice and learned to drop down to lower register.
Good posture is important when running a group. Sit tall and don’t slouch. It always helps to keep things playful. If there’s a moment to add some humor, do it. Laughter puts everyone at ease, including you. When we ran a group in Copenhagen, one of the women sitting down for genital show and tell noticed that she had some toilet paper on her labia. Betty smiled and asked, “Do you have a message?” Everyone laughed and later on several women “found” messages in their vulvas. No one was embarrassed and it became a unifying moment.
Another great Betty moment was when she farted and announced, “Anyone who farts gets a $1.00.” You’re sitting naked on the floor for hours, displaying your vulva, and masturbating. Natural body processes will happen. Make it fun and laugh away any embarrassment.
Genital Show & Tell:
Set up an area for genital show & tell on carpeting and put down a clean towel. Always start by showing the group your own vulva. Make yourself vulnerable. Talk about your fears or concerns and show all the structures: clitoris, labia, pc muscle, and urethral opening. Be honest about how your relationship with your vulva.
You’ll sit side-by-side with each woman looking into the same mirror. Don’t be afraid to get close with your bodies touching. It’s comforting to feel a body close to yours when you’re nervous. This is about maternal energy. You’re not a lover you’re a mother or big sister. This is non-sexual touch.
Turn on the lamp and look at her vulva in the mirror TOGETHER. Always say something positive about her vulva immediately by making a complimentary statement. If you can’t think of anything, then say, "Oh, she’s beautiful.”
Always begin with a vulva massage. Have her oil her hands and using long strokes, run them up and down her sex organ from bottoem to top, hand over hand. Next have her locate her clitoris and open her outer labia to view vestibule, the space between her inner lips where she can locate her urethral opening. It’s amazing how many women – even those who’ve given birth – have never known where they urinate from. Some thought it was the clitoris. The vaginal opening is rarely open. It sits at the bottom of her vulva and is different for every woman. In order to see it, she must penetrate herself first.
Also, you can describe what vulva “style” she has - Gothic, Renaissance,Art Deco, Danish modern – based on Betty’s vulva sketches. The women really enjoy this moment. It gives them a point of reference for their vulva.
Bodysex is NAMING OWNING SHARING & CELEBRATING
Take them through Betty’s anatomical diagrams that come from A New View of a Woman's Body. We’ve simplified the diagrams so only the main structures are labeled. The women love looking at the diagrams.
The focus here is that the clitoris is a woman’s primary sex organ. The urethral sponge ie the g-spot is part of the internal clitoris. Some women enjoy having their urethral sponge stimulated by applying pressure to the ceiling of the vagina. Many also enjoy stimulation right at the vaginal opening because there are more nerve endings there. Once inside the vagina, most women enjoy the feeling of being “full”.
Some women release fluid (female ejaculate) which is dilute urine with prostate fluid that amounts to no more than a teaspoon full. Some women squirt BUT this isn’t an orgasm. It's simply the release of ejaculate. The clitoris reigns supreme when it comes to female orgasms.
Reassemble in the Circle:
Genital show & tell is an intense experience. Once we look at each other’s vulvas, we’re bonded in sisterhood. It’s good to reassemble in the circle and ask the group if anyone would like to share something. Have a nice relaxed group discussion before you break for the day.
Most of the women will want to go out to dinner. Betty and I prefer to have dinner together and let the group go out alone. It’s good for the women to have time together and for the group leaders to share feedback before Day 2.
Day 2 Group Share:
Go around the circle and have each woman share how she’s feeling and what she did last night. You’ll notice that most of the women will say that they slept really well. Day 1 is a lot to process and it can knock you out. I see a physical change in the women’s faces from Day 1 to Day 2. They’ve experienced a huge release and connection with their bodies and each other. It’s always beautiful.
Betty’s Rock ‘n Roll Orgasm Demonstration:
Next you ask all the women to gather around you and your assistant who is your “stunt cunt” to demonstrate Betty’s Rock ‘n Roll orgasm technique. We used to simply explain the technique but women were confused. This kind of visual demonstration is giving women permission to look closely which further breaks down any shame.
Then go through all the items on their tray. Have them turn on their vibrators and experience each setting. Next, ask the group to stand with their vibrators in hand. That way they will have a visual of each other. Demonstrate running their vibrators from the top of their heads down over their breasts to their clits. Betty likes to keep it all humorous. She's been known to play air guitar with her vibrator etc. Have them gyrate their hips doing bumps and grinds while they actively fuck their vibrators.
Now it's time for everyone to spread out their towels so they can lie down on them. Next you can talk them through slow penetration with the barbell. Be sure they use almond oil before dong slow penetration while squeezing and releasing their PC muscle. Once the barbell is inserted, the weight will keep it in place.
When you declare it's time for “erotic recess,” let them know it's not necessary to have an orgasm to enjoy the energy in the circle.This Takes performance anxiety out of the equation. Betty didn't have an orgasm when we initiated this new round of groups. At any point a group leader can stand to observe how everyone is doing. You can also pull up along side a women to help her by answering any concern she might have…encourage all the women to roll up and look at each other.
After 40-50 minutes, take them through the orgasm positions we have named the pillow fuck & Indian style. All the vibrators are put on top of the pillow so women can practice being on top. Indian style is sitting up holding the vibrator between her feet. Women love both of these positions because they can look at each other and make comments that creates laughter making sex fun. I like to keep a pitcher of water with fruit and cookies in the middle of the circle on a tray for anyone who wants to take an orgasm break. Conversations break out and that’s fine. This is about play, not performance.
Be flexible with your timing. If everyone is still going, continue. Once most everyone has stopped, then declare the end of erotic recess. Use your best judgment.
Everyone loves group massage. After we've all had orgasms, or watched each other have orgasms, we are all in a good mood. Begin by laying down two blankets and have the women use their towels to kneel on while they take turns sharing massage. Make sure the blankets are soft and clean. Play some ambient music or leave the room quiet. Massage is about non-sexual touch. The leader counts off the group randomly pointing at each woman calling out number one or two. It's best to let the numbers fall where they may. Don't try to put certain people together. These smaller groups will consist of 4 or 5 women massaging one person at a time.
Each woman will be massaged for five minutes on each side. After the givers oil their hands, they hold them over the woman in the middle and you and your assistant say outloud: "The laying on of hands" and everyone touches the woman being massaged at the same time. Keep time and make sure everyone gets her massage.
When group massage is over, women can wipe off the excess almond oil with their towels. Also, pick up some baby wipes to also be used.
Reassemble in the circle:
Request women sit on their towels in a small circle so they can hold hands – the right hand is down to send, and the left hand is up to receive the energy. Then ask everyone to make eye contact with each woman in the circle. Finally, each woman shares one word – something that they’re feeling or thinking that sums up their experience. The final share.
Then, Betty has the women throw their hands up into the air and shake them to release all our orgasm energy into the world followed by whoops and shouts of joy and laughter.
The women will most likely ask for each other’s email addresses. I ask their permission and, if it’s given, I send out a group email so everyone can contact each other. I also like to thank the group for coming to the workshop. For each of our workshops, women have started facebook fan pages to keep in touch. I always join them but rarely post but it’s good to keep the lines of communication open.
It’s good to write up your experience after each group – what happened, any epiphanies, what you could have done better. Betty keeps a written record of each of her private sessions. I blog about each workshop. It’s good for your learning curve to reflect. Do it that night or the next day when it’s all fresh in your head.
Day 1 Timeline
Group share (how do you feel about body/orgasm) = 2 hours
Bathroom/snack break = 15 minutes
Genital Show & Tell = 2-2.5 hours
Bathroom/snack break = 15 minutes
Reassemble in the circle (ask if there is anything they want to share or any questions) = 15 minutes
Day 2 Timeline
Group share (what they did the previous eveninh or how they're feeling) = 30 minutes
Bathroom/snack break = 15 minutes
Demonstrate Rock 'n Roll orgasm/Q&A = 30 minutes
Erotic Recess = 2-2.5 hours (I bring in snacks during last hour)
Group Massage = 1 hour
Final circle = 15 minutes
Set Up Expenses:
Several of our certified women have crowdsourced their certification fees and set up expenses. I would suggest trying tilt.com (some sites restrict "sex" related fundraising). Here's a breakdown of the set up expenses:
Back Jacks $34.95/each @ floorseating.com
Pussy mirror $19.99
Rechargeable Magic Wand $54.00/each (that's the wholesale price plus shipping)
Betty's Barbell $75.00/each (Betty insists on a 3 step polish which increases our cost)
Almond oil $10.85/each
Then you'll need to pick up some plastic trays, towels, and pillows (if you want to do the pillow fuck). I replace the towels once a year. Bed Bath & Beyond is the best place to shop - and the pricing depends on the quality of towel you select.
Assuming you're running groups with 10 women including yourself, your set up expenses would be roughly $1,800.00 - $2,000.00. You can always have the women bring their own vibrators and dildos. You don't have to use our barbell. I would suggest starting small but investing in the rechargeable magic wands and crowdsource as much as you can.
And if you want to resell products like the barbell, Magic Wand, mirrors and almond oil on your blogs/sites I would suggest joining Amazon Associates (Amazon's affiliate program). Just join and post the code to your site - you'll make 10% on all purchases.