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Does this scene sound familiar to you?

You are having sex with someone you love. But you’re really fucking frustrated. No matter how much you communicate or what is going on in the {{physical}} plane, you cannot get enough. Insatiable…but not in the hot way.

There is a fixation on lacking something. A feeling of being up in your head. Disconnected from your body. Instead of creating something, you are waiting for something. Waiting for what you want to come to you, to be given to you. Waiting for something/someone to MAKE you cum.

It initiates a minor panic. Is this the right partner? Is this the beginning of the end? I need something else. Something more. Something different. Feeling embarrassed or guilty that this person you love seems to be causing you so much frustration. Feeling like you are owed something.

Disconnect.

Wanting.

Doubting.

Ahhhh yes. You have likely shown up to partner sex in a deficit state. You are under-fucked by your SELF. You have likely lost touch with the subtlety of sensation. The enjoyment in the ride. Now fixated on the destination. Forgetting to make art with a person you love because you waited too long. You are so hungry for sexual satiation that desperation has made orgasm the focus. Stuck in an impossible future.

When women are disconnected from themselves they have disconnected partner sex.

When women are connected to themselves they have connected partner sex. Women who turn themselves on regularly have a trusting and reliable relationship with themselves, their intuition, and what is right for them. So when they choose to have partner sex, they are clear on what is their stuff and what is the other persons. They are clear on what they want, and they don't need anything. They have a bounty themselves, and they have come to share the overflow.

When women are out of touch with the deep depth of sexual energy that often runs below the surface of busy, every day life, they forget the river is even there. Desire seems to go missing. Then, when connecting with a partner, whether out of obligation, or good timing, or coaxing, or what have you, the current is already moving to fast. You forget how much you have wanted, and no partner can satiate this need. To listen to your SELF. To connect to SELF. To give your SELF the best time. To make art with your own body, completely unattached to how it looks as a whole. Staying in the moment.

Does this sound foreign? It can be yours. Work on your sex-for-one and it will overflow into the hottest, most present, beautiful sex-for-two when the time is right.

Almost everything is being sold to us these days. Some in obvious ways, some in subtle ways (ahem, intstagram feed). Yet nowhere do I see masturbation being promoted. I’m talking next level masturbation. Not rubbing one out. Not jerking off. I’m talking about making fucking art with your glorious body. Enjoying the sensation and the sensuality of being in a body with body parts made just for pleasure. It’s kind of a miracle. It’s free. It’s healing. It’s nurturing. It’s good for you. It’s good for your reproductive health, your mental health, your stress levels. AND IT’S FUCKING FREE. Did I mention that? You also don’t need anyone else, or to go anywhere. It’s the best.

We need to talk about this more. So here it is. If you are reading this, consider this your reminder to go masturbate. Become your greatest lover. You will benefit. The world will benefit. Can you imagine if the whole world was having mind-blowing sex with THEMSELVES?!

I could go on and on. But I will stop.

If you feel in a rut. If you feel the call to drop into this river of desire. To drop shame. To confront your fears. To nurture yourself. To take the time to give to yourself. If you need help with this and you are ready to join in one of the most sacred circles that ever existed, then join us for the next BODYSEX workshop. We’ve had a little flurry of women reach out to us in the past week asking for our next dates. I have felt it in my own life. It is time to redirect the focus on cultivating our sexual relationship with ourselves. I cannot wait to see who will be called into the circle this time.

The next one will run July 8-9, in Hamilton, Ontario. Save the dates, more details to follow. Click here to read about our last circle, and don’t hesitate to reach out and ask questions.