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Hi Betty,

I'm a 21 year old who has never had sex. It's not that I haven't tried. But my vagina is so tight that my boyfriend can't penetrate me. I first tried having sex when I was 17 with my boyfriend at that time. We were both inexperienced and after trying various positions, we finally gave up because I was starting to get sore.

Now, I have a different boyfriend, and we have the same problem once again. My current boyfriend has had sex before so I realize that it's me and my tight vagina that's preventing us from having any intercourse. Once again, we tried various positions, but it hurt a lot and I even bled a little. What is wrong with me? And what can I do to make my vagina not so tight?

J

Dear J,

There is nothing wrong with you that can’t easily be corrected. First, get my Barbell and read the directions very carefully. I recommend you take control of penetration by practicing with yourself. Once you get in touch with your pelvic floor muscle you can learn to relax it by squeezing and releasing it consciously. Use plenty of massage oil, go slow, and breathe into the sensations. Always practice vaginal penetration while doing some form of clitoral stimulation to get blood into your genitals.

Another possibility is that you might have a thick hymen that needs to be removed by your health care provider. It’s the bit of skin that partially covers the vaginal opening. With a good light and a mirror, you could determine this for yourself.

This kind of sex information should have been taught in high school. But as long as America remains sexually ignorant by supporting abstinence-only sex education, which as you see is no education at all, young women and men will continue to suffer through painful first time intercourse, confusion about STD’s, and unwanted pregnancies due to the lack of birth control information. All the more reason to vote so we can elect some sex positive people to change these repressive laws.

Betty