Articles

Hello Betty, I am so very happy to have found your site a few years ago. I have learned a lot!

What is the best way to go about 'fixing' my PC muscle? I have been with the same partner for nearly 15 years and we have had three kids. I am 33, my youngest is six. I have never done anything to help myself along the way, now I'm in panic mode.

I have been noticing for some time that intercourse is becoming more and more challenging, in the way that, my hubby can't reach orgasm because there is not enough friction. I feel very loose. I consciously have started to flex my muscle during intercourse, I'll try with all my might, but I don't think it's doing anything. I am embarrassed. My hubby has always said that I am a 'roomy' woman. He was used to dating girls that were five foot nothing, I'm his 'amazon' at 5'10. ]

We have decent communication, and although I love sex, I can still be very prudish. Weird. Anyway. What is the best course of action to start improving myself? I'm terrible at figuring out muscle group. When I did a belly dance class, and we were to isolate our rib cages, I had no idea that was possible.

We have amazing sex. There are different kinds of sex for different kinds of moods. I do however really enjoy penetration and would love to improve that side of things.

Many thanks!

M

Dear M,

You can locate your PC muscle by stopping the flow of urine and then releasing it. Go to Betty's Vaginal Barbell which is a resistant device to work the muscle against. Also you can reach down and stimulate your clitoris during intercourse with your fingers or get a vibrator. As you become more aroused, your pelvic floor muscle will automatically contract.

Another technique would be to make a circle with your fingers between the vaginal opening and his penis. You can apply pressure by squeezing the base of his penis as he moves in and out of your vagina. Finally consider the possibility of exploring anal sex. Get my e-book *Orgasms for Two* that gives more details. And don't forget a good hand-job or blow-job is always appreciated by most men.

Finally, a sex toy for men called the "Fleshlight" (it looks like a flashlight) I'm told is as good and sometimes even better than the "real thing." Most important is for YOU to get your own orgasms too. Coming is the best sex exercise there is, so time for you to get either an Eroscillator or a Magic Wand for your own sessions of self-loving.

Dr. Betty