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Hello!

First of all: this is a wonderful page and I already read and found a lot of really helpful things.

Now to my question. I've never had an orgasm and really want to change that. It's not that sex is not enjoyable without it, but I think it could be much more fun with coming orgasm...I've tried masturbation several times, last with your article "First Time Orgasm". The problem is, stimulating my clitoris (with fingers or while licking) doesn't really bring me in the direction of a climax. It feels good but nothing more, I don't even get wet from that.

The only time I feel that there's arising something is when rubbing on a pillow for example. I feel something overwhelming coming, but then from one second to another the feeling is gone and I cant get it back anymore.

Do you have any suggestion for me? I would be really thankful!
Best, M

Dear M,

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again! And keep trying until your brain relaxes and bodily sensations become more noticeable. Your fingers don't work because you are accustomed to the pressure of humping your pillow.

"when rubbing on a pillow for example. I feel something overwhelming coming, but then from one second to another the feeling is gone and I cant get it back anymore."

That is your beginning orgasms. Because you are holding a bigger expectation, you are denying those beginning little comes with good feelings. Our ideas and expectation of what an orgasm will feel like are exaggerated thanks to porn or romantic literature. Once we acknowledge those little comes they will grow.

Dr. Betty