New BF Wants Me to Squirt

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Betty Dodson

Hi Betty and Carlin,

I'm in my 40's and just getting back out there after my 25 year marriage ended. My sex life with the ex was not too exciting. A new guy I've been seeing for a few months is more adventurous sexually (I took a tip from Betty and went out with a younger guy LOL). Anyhow, this guy seems obsessed with getting me to "squirt" and even makes me feel like there's something wrong with me because I can't pull it off.

I don't know much about it, I pretty much thought it was a "stunt" done in adult movies to make guys think they are "big studs" for making a woman ejaculate. Am I right to be ambivalent about this? Frankly it seems like a big mess more than anything.


Dear R, Congratulations on re-entering the sexual marketplace. You assessment of female ejaculation is correct. Frankly, I have disliked the whole G spot idea because it took us back into our vaginas looking for a magic spot. Meanwhile the clitoris was relegated to a back seat. No, no, no! It is our primary organ for pleasure.

Unfortunately your young man is a victim of porn. Like the man pulls out so we can SEE his ejaculation, the woman Squirts so we can see her come. Only squirting is NOT the same thing as having an orgasm. It can accompany an orgasm that engages the clitoris but squirting alone is not an orgasm. And you are correct, it leaves a awful mess that the woman has to clean up..

So tell your young man "squirting" is passe. Only women who fake orgasms are doing it. So he's being fooled by porn. Send him to D&R for solid info on female sexuality. And then stand your ground.

Dr. Betty

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