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Hi Betty

I have recently discovered in my 30s (thanks to my new partner) that I can ejaculate. It only happens when he uses his fingers inside me, I guess when he pushes on my G Spot. It's more like a gush rather than a squirt and there's usually loads of liquid, like I poured a full glass of water down there! My question is, I never feel like I'm having an orgasm when it happens, in fact, I don't feel it happening at all, it's always a surprise when it does, I only notice when we both get wet. I thought it was meant to feel amazing?! Why don't I feel like I'm having an orgasm? Is that normal/common?

Dear E,

Slowly the truth is emerging about G stimulation and female ejaculation. Most women who have this response say that gushing or squirting is NOT the same as having an orgasm. Men seem to be dedicated to hanging out inside a vagina with their fingers and they mistakenly believe they have just made their partner come, big time! It's similar to their response of ejaculating semen. Also there are those times when squirting does accompany an orgasm. It's just different strokes for different folks.

Or I should say, different responses to different kinds of genital stimulation. Next time he's in there strumming on your vaginal ceiling, just reach down and stimulate your clitoris or use your favorite vibrator. Of course the problem with that is he won't get all the credit for giving you an orgasm.

My advice? Women: its' time for us to own our own orgasms! We are each responsible for creating our orgasms. Its' really nice to have your lover involved, but the orgasm is yours, not his.

Dr. Betty