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Hi Betty!

Lovely to find your site! Made me feel so normal! I've been masturbating since I was kid, (I didn't know it then), and regularly since I hit puberty. I am now 21, and still a "virgin" to partner sex. I guess I have been waiting, not for the "one", but for anyone! I have always assumed I'd get attached to whoever I first did it with, so I've been waiting for a guy who I would date semi-seriously, but it hasn't happened (maybe I'm too picky?).

Some of my friends have lost their 'virginity' through casual sex, and it has worked for some, while for others they got too attached and they ended up getting hurt. There is a really hot guy at work (like ridiculously good looking, but he is 7 years older), and he probably isn't someone I would want to date.

Would it be a bad idea to have casual sex as a first experience? I have no idea whether I would become attached or not. Is there a way to tell? I dunno if this makes any sense!

Thanks :)

A

Dear A,

My approach was to choose a guy that I wasn't likely to "fall in love with" as that can be disastrous with the wrong person If the sex is too hot, and you fall for him, it can take up a lot of your valuable time and energy. When the sex is great, we all have a tendency to do that, especially on the first time out.

The ridiculously good looking dude that's too old for serious lover sounds like a good choice for your first partner sex. As for any reassurance up front, that's not likely possible. Just have your birth control in place then feel free to use him for your first experiment with "going all the way." Chance are you won't come but you can masturbate and have an orgasm when you get back home. Do tell all after you have "used him" for your experiment.

Dr. Betty