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First off, THANK you for living and breathing! This site has helped me realize that I am not alone in wanting to explore and own my sexuality as a woman!

The first and most important question I have is as follows:

I can only cum by stimulating the areas around my clitoris. I've tried stimulating it before, but any kind of pressure feels tender and hurts. Likewise, I find that after I cum (when using a vibrator) I have to quickly remove it or it hurts almost immediately. What is going on?!

Dear L,

So happy you are on board with D&R. The clitoris has some 8000 nerve endings and is VERY sensitive as you have discovered. Right after we come, most clits need to take a breather and calm down a bit. However, she is often ready to go again within a few moments, say a minute or two.

You can run the vibrator slowly up to the top of your skull, or put it on your third eye, (the space between your eyebrows) and simply relax and breathe deeply for a moment. Then slowly run the vibrator back down your body and place it near you clitoris. She is usually ready to go again. Another technique is place some fabric between you and the vibe to soften the contact.

To deal with more intensity, make sounds that meet what you feel, breathe deeply and thrust into the sensation instead of pulling back. A sensitive clitoris is responsive but they are also tough little pleasure organs that can go again and again. You've just met yours. So let your love affair with you deepen gradually.

Dr. Betty