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Dear Betty,

Thanks so much for taking the time to answer.

I'm 19 years old and sexually active, i have a bit of a problem with the fact that my labia majora is so swollen after oral sex or just stimulation. My partners have either given oral or tried to stimulate it but i don't really feel anything and at the end of the night its so swollen that i had to try to cool it down with ice water but it usually takes 2-3 days to go back to its normal size.

Could this be some kind of infection? Or is it just me?

Dear R,

Our inner and outer vulva lips do become engorged with sexual stimulation. However, the clitoris is our primary organ for orgasms. Perhaps your vulva becomes fuller but without an orgasm following the stimulation, it takes longer for the blood to drain and they remain "full" sort of like a guy who gets turned on but doesn't have an orgasm so he ends up with what the guys call "blue balls."

So if you don't finally have your own orgasm, you will end up with "blue labia." After he comes, just reach down and stimulate your clitoris the same as you do when you masturbate. Your orgasm will calm everything down.

Dr. Betty