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Dear Dr. Betty,

I’m from Uruguay (a little country in south america). In my country it isn’t that easy to find your kind of help. My story is sad, by fortunately is having a happy ending. I’m 33 years old and I’ve lost my virginity when I was 17 because I was raped. Sadly, I was raced in a VERY catholic family and masturbation was out of the equation.

It took me more than 10 years to realize (and accept!) I couldn’t come, and due to my own long research, I finally masturbate until I experienced my first orgasm 3 years ago! I’m really proud of myself! After that, I learn to have an orgasm during intercourse touching my clitoris, which my make me more proud!!

Recently, I started a new relationship. My partner stimulated with his finger the inside of my vagina, in the zone the G-spot is located. This stimulation was extremely satisfying, no doubt about it, but it was too strong, and I couldn’t canalize it into an orgasm, resulting in something like numbness because afterwards, I couldn’t feel the stimulation on my clitoris.

What I want to know is if you can help me to feel this stimulation in this zone, in order to canalize it into an orgasm, or just to understand why I feel it with that intensity.

Thank you very much,
Love you
g

Dear GH,

Congratulations on discovering your clitoris and orgasm. Now just stay with it and enjoy your new found sexuality. You are another perfect example of the ridiculous G-spot craze. Many women like myself do not respond to the ceiling of our vagina's being vigorously rubbed by a lovers fingers. At best, it's indirect clitoral stimulation.

If you want to continue to explore this, tell your partner to ease off. Make sure he's using some kind of clean lubrication and guide him as to the amount of pressure you desire. Read my essay the "G-spot Revisited." If I were you, I'd simply stay with what works. Vaginal penetration is a secondary form of stimulation, but men are excessively focused on getting back inside because it's the favorite place to put their penises. So when they lose erections, fingers go next. Then many anxiously await for a woman to spurt. Proof that's he's a real stud cause he just made her come! I say nonsense! This puts too much pressure on women to perform. Make it a point to control what your boyfriend is doing. Tell him what feels good and what doesn't. In the long run he'll appreciate your honesty. If not, then maybe it's time to move along.

Dr. Betty.