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Hi Dr Betty,

I'm 43, I've been married 22 years! My husband and I have a great sex life, up till about 2 years ago. My husband and I's favorite thing is oral sex. He loves to go down "there" and make me orgasm over and over and over. Well about two years ago like a switch, he went down and as soon as his tongue touched me I thought I was going to pee. I was very sensitive almost like a tickle. I made him stop. I finally said something to my Obgyn about being very sensitive, even in the shower when the water hits just right I pee a little. He ran tests sent me to a urologist, he tried me on two medications and ran several bladder tests.

All this testing spread over a year a half. Nothing is wrong with me they say. I can touch myself and orgasm, we can have sex and I orgasm no problem, but the minute he touches me with his tongue, nope I'm gonna pee. I've tried to empty my bladder right before and it doesn't help. I've tried to fight through it but can't.

I've been reading as much as I can about this. People insist it's not pee, yes it is. I've read about licking on the hood of the clit, we have tried every thing! I feel broken, what can I do if anything? I so hope you can help us out. Thank you so much

Dear M,

Right after I read your question my first thought was: Ask your hubby to alter his oral technique. After all those years maybe your clitoris is telling you, "I'd like a change of stimulation please." That is if a clit could talk.

Also in our forties we are moving closer to menopause and the hormones in our bodies are changing. If he doesn't mind a little pee, just continue to give him his favorite sex by getting over whatever you feel when it happens. Embarrassment? Unsanitary? It must taste awful? So what's a little dribble of pee when it's your favorite thing to do sexually? Has he complained?

Urine is an antiseptic product and is perfectly safe to ingest. For several years I followed what my Yoga teacher did by drinking an ounce of my morning urine to replace all the chemicals and vitamins lost during sleep. Until I got bored with it and stopped. Look up "Uropothy" online. It's an ancient Ayruvedic healing system from India. That's another thought.

Also you might want to consciously begin to tone your pelvic floor muscle. Check out the information under Betty's Vaginal Barbell. All women have heard of doing your Kegels. I have my clients include consciously using the PC muscle during masturbation and partner sex to enhance our orgasms. It also will prevent urinary incontinence in our later years which is leaking urine when we sneeze or cough violently (or come?). So relax. It's not an insurmountable problem. Just keep enjoying yourself and your Darling Husband.

Dr. Betty