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Hello Betty,

I'm a twenty-two year old woman and I have a problem and I was hoping you could push me in the right direction.

I've always had a fairly sexual mind. I know what I like, what sort of things get me off, and so on. I don't have any problem penetrating myself or bringing myself to an orgasm. But I've noticed a different problem that I can't seem to fix by myself.

I get to talking with a man and we hit it off, but no matter how much I like him as soon as he starts touching me I start panicking. I feel like I'm not safe, like I'm being violated. It makes no sense to me and I feel like I'm broken. Help.

Dear K,

Since you have no physical problems enjoying sex with yourself, your response to being touched by a man is most likely psychological. Perhaps this is the result of some childhood sex trauma with some kind of inappropriate sex with a family member or some older person buried in your memory.

This would be a case of seeing a good therapist who deals with these issues. I know there are several good books that talk about incest or some kind of inappropriate sex between a child and an adult but I do not remember their titles. One that was written a while ago was called The Courage to Heal and became popular. Meanwhile continue to enjoy your orgasms alone to keep your sex energy moving.

Dr. Betty