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Dear Betty,

I have been masturbating since a very young child, and thanks to you have progressed from rubbing up against surfaces to touching myself with porn to now preferring my own fantasies with some coconut oil and penetration - these orgasms I have on my own are great! I am 19 years old and am in my first serious relationship. My boyfriend and I have been having sex for 2 months now, and so far has been a good experience.

He's very good with always bringing and using condoms so I don't need to go on the pill, and is good with foreplay. However, despite the sex feeling great, I have only orgasmed with him twice when he was giving me oral sex. And these were not nearly as good as the orgasms I continue to have on my own! He however cums every time, and I sometimes feel jealous. He does stimulate my clit, but not as much as I need and not with the slow penetration I like.

How do I get more brave and communicate exactly what I want? I have tried moving his hand there but he only plays with my clit for a few seconds then goes back to my breasts or arse (which turns me on but won't get me to orgasm!) I have even faked it a few times which I don't want to do anymore.

Would really like your advice on this!

Many thanks!

Dear M, It took me forever to finally speak up and tell my BF how I wanted my clitoris touched. The first time I sounded like a drill Sargent, not at all what I intended. With the next one, I got better BUT I finally figured out to just take control of my own clitoris like he controlled his penis.

While we were fucking, I simply reached down and began stimulating my clit like when I masturbated and it was so easy. It makes sense! Men are controlling how the penis moves and we can do the same with how we stimulate our clits.

Dr Betty