Articles

Hello Doctor Betty,

My name is H. and I live in the United States. I am of an African descent and as a young child, I was robbed of my sexual pleasures. My clitoris was cut off in the name of tradition and now that I'm older, I'm having problems with my sexuality. I have severe pains during intercourse and a very painful menstural cycle. I am very uncomfortable having sex because I don't want my boyfriend to find out. This is really interfering with my life and I was wondering whether you could help me, please. Thank you.

P.S. I heard about you from the clitoraid.org program.

Dear H,

You must discuss your situation with your boyfriend immediately. Trying to hide it only makes matters worse. If at all possible, I would recommend you see Dr. Marci Bowers who now practices in California. I'm sure some information about her is on the clitoraid site. If not just Google her name.

She can get rid of scar tissue and if there is sufficient clitoral stem remaining, she pulls it forward which might result in your ability to feel some pleasure. For now you need to avoid pain, so after you explain your situation to your BF, I suggest you hold off on vaginal penetration. Instead enjoy giving him manual and oral sex. No man ever complained about that! Meanwhile stop suffering pain to please a man. It isn't worth it. Keep me posted on what you do. I would love to offer more help but alas, it's up to you to take care of yourself.

Dr. Betty