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Dear Dr. Betty,

I have a very loving and attentive boyfriend who has just one unfortunate flaw...oral sex. He gives it the old college try but, he is not very good at it. While I applaud his effort unfortunately my clit is not pleased. I have tried my best to guide him but, it does not work. He feels terrible about it and I try my best to console him.

Is there anything that I can refer him to help him adopt a better technique?

Dear M,

Since you have made an effort to inform him of what you like and it didn't work, other than figuring out a way to better communicate your desires, I'm at a loss here. Of course it would help if he didn't feel so terrible about it to the point that you have to console HIM, when it should be the other way around. Already I can tell you're overly cautious about not hurting his feelings. First I would look long and hard at how you communicated what you want.

Next I'd like to know if you have done the smell and taste test of your own vulva? Insert a finger inside you vagina, move it around and then bring it up close to your nose and inhale deeply? Then taste yourself? If your system is overly acidic or out of balance, it might be challenging to be down there with your mouth on it. If you pass the taste and scent test, then it's not about your genital hygiene or the health of your body. If you don't approve then consider doing some kind of a diet change or take a few days to do an internal cleansing system. I like 3 to 5 days on fresh raw veggie juice with lots of water.

If none of the above works, then he's got some kind of psychological hang up about pussies. In that case, he would need to see a therapist. At that point, it would make sense to forget about oral sex and focus on what does work.

Dr. Betty