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Dear Dr. Betty,

I realize you are mostly a woman's advise page, but I admire your work and was hoping you could shed some light on a very confusing issue. I cannot seem to find answers elsewhere. I am a middle aged man in a 20 yr marriage. My wife is the only women I have ever been with. For the last several years I have been experencing ejaculation (premature?) without much if any orgasm. I just come but have none of the "intense feelings" I used to have just seems to sort of dribble out. Anorgasm??

It just seems to happen with very little feeling. I can have much more intense orgasms with masturbation but sometimes its the same. Find almost no info on this, wife not really intersted in the problem, read a few article about use of fleshlight and partner assistance entering type techniques? Am I just totally messed up or is something physically wrong? What is up? Am on Anti-depressants, and have a painful testicle from a spermatocele. MDs say its "normal"

Thanks

Dear S,

So you are in your middle to late forties or fifties. Exact age aside, I speculate the following: you are a victim of the cultural insistence on monogamous marriage to one person for a lifetime. You are also a victim of the medical establishment with a doctor who tells you weak orgasms and a testicle that hurts is"normal".

Finally you have been victimized by the pharmaceutical industry that has numbed out our entire population with anti-depressants that are known to interfere or totally block pleasure from orgasms which to my mind is fucking depressing! No mystery why the insurance companies are sticking it to us. We are so drugged out on worthless meds, bad processed foods, boring sexless marriages that it becomes understandable how a dimwit like Bush got through eight years as the president. We are a very sick society.

My prescription is to rebel! First get tuned into you pelvic floor muscle and begin to work it out. Although I speak to women, you have the same muscle. Start masturbating with the Aneros to massage your prostate gland. Get some first rate hot porn to spice up your masturbation.

Change your diet to include whole fresh organic foods. Exercise. Gradually come off anti-depessants. Go to a massage parlor and buy a "happy ending." Gradually work up to hiring a sex worker who is knowledgeable and knows what to do in the bedroom. Your wife is in a similar state of sexual ignorance and she's done her share if she's had kids. Don't bother her with your problems for now. Once you get turned around, she'll sense something is different about you and take notice, or not. In either case, you are entitiled to have an orgasmic sexlife with or without her.

You might also consider doing a phone consultation with my protege Eric Amaranth. He's now experimenting with penis exercises to enhance girth besides his regular masturbation practice. He's also knowledgeable about the best sex toys for men. My heart goes out to you and all the other decent husbands and fathers who never really had a chance to develop sexually because they followed the rules. I'm rooting for you.

Dr. Betty