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Hi Dr. Betty,

I've been with my SO for almost 5 years. I was always used to having sex and it being fun but not getting real 'pleasure' out of it. Then we got pregnant and I was my normal nyphmo sex goddess, and I started being able to have vaginal orgasms and multiple vaginal orgasms at that.

After I had our son the first time having sex was as awesome as it had been for the last year, but after that first time back on the wagon, we've just been trying to get me to orgasm again. Its been almost four years since I had a good orgasm, or since I've enjoyed sex at all. We've tried toys, lubes, anal... Watching porn... Basically anything we could think of. I don't like sex anymore, I'm to the point where I lie in bed like a dead fish or give him head just to keep him happy and away from me.

I've had maybe one vaginal orgasm since that first time after birth. And of course I can get myself off clitorally, but I tend to stop after that first good moment, and its not the same as OOOOOOO. You know?

Please help. I want to like sex again.

Dear A,

Welcome to the real world that does not provide "hot sex with ever lasting love" like all those damn romantic stories promised us. Get my e-book "Orgasms for Two" that talks about partner sex and how a woman can combine clitoral stimulation (hand or vibe) during fucking and have marvelous orgasms with her partner. Clitoral stimulation with vaginal penetration AT THE SAME TIME.

It's essential that we don't compare what's happening now to what happened in the past. We are constantly changing year to year. Our point of personal power is in the present moment.

Of course the other path that usually works would be to have an extra marital fling but now that you have a child to raise, that option may not be possible. I'd go for the Combo Orgasm: Clitoral stimulation with vaginal penetration AT THE SAME TIME. As for "vaginal orgasms?" They are as reliable as the "Tooth Fairy."

Dr. Betty