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Dear Betty,

You've mentioned in several videos on youtube, that one should enjoy the smell of sex..and the smell of their own "situation." I agree....until it comes to me receiving oral sex. I am a clean person and always make sure to shower before hand, but when the juices start flowing, the insecurites I feel over my scent can sometimes inhibit me from cumming. I stop enjoying the moment and think, "I bet he wants to gag right now!"

I try to douche the morning of, but then I worry that my partner will be able to taste the douche. I have also tried deodorizing vaginal suppositories (Norforms), but afterwards I feel like I have a pussy full of oil. My rational mind knows that my partner probably enjoys the taste/smell- but this is a mental block that I can't seem to get over. Please Help! BTW- you and Carlin are goddesses.

Dear C,

STOP using vaginal deodorants! The vagina is a self-cleansing organ! Other than washing the outside and putting your fingers just inside using plain water is sufficient. I suggest that every morning before you shower or at night before you go to sleep, put your finger inside your vagina and taste and smell your scent. The women in my Bodysex groups did this exercise and then we'd go around the room and each one would describe what they could taste or smell. "Salty" was a popular one or "ocean" and "wasabi" the hot mustard after eating Japanese food. A few simply said, "neutral" or "sweet."

Do this on a regular basis to realize that your scent is different according to your diet and timing of you menses. Any mental block can be overcome if you decide to do so. Talk to your partner and ask him what he thinks. And stop messing up your orgasms with this silly obsession. That's an order from your sex positive feminist headquarters.

Dr. Betty