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Dear Betty,

I'm a married woman and 42 years old. 9 times out of 10 I find myself urinating as I climax (with or without penetration) sometimes it is a little but sometimes quite a lot. it doesn't bother my hubby too much but can make things very messy. In general I have very good control down there! I have strong pelvic muscles as my husband can feel me tighten round him if I squeeze and as a rule I don't suffer any leakage when I sneeze, cough, run etc.. Also I'm in good health I walk 5km every day and I'm not overweight. I always wee before sex begins but what my husband is finding frustrating is that now I'm trying to stop weeing when I orgasm so I quickly go for a wee and he says this is affecting his desire. Do you have any suggestions. By the way this is a great site and I'm very glad to find it!

Dear S,

It sound to me like you are experiencing "female ejaculation." It's become quite fashionable here in America. Since you have assured me it's not urinary incontinence because you have a strong PC muscle. (To check it out, insert a finger inside your vagina and squeeze the muscle).To learn more about this, read my Sex Essays by clicking on the Navigation Bar.

I suggest you get a baby's pee pad to protect your mattress. And when you have sex, put down a towel or two so it will be less messy. Then just let it happen. I can understand why your hubby is unhappy with you jumping up to pee right in front of an orgasm. Relax and let your body do whatever it wants to so you both can enjoy your orgasms.

Dr. Betty