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Dear Betty,

I'm a 21 going on 22 year old woman with a great shyness to getting naked and having sex with my F.W.B (friends with benefits) He's older then I am and we've done it more then four times since we met (which was almost about a year ago now) , but I'm still shy every time we had intercourse! The only time I'm actually not shy and panicking about having sex with him was when I'm stone cold drunk!

Can you please give me some tips on how to stop this shyness/panicking/nervousness without having to resort to drinking?

Dear A,

Yes, how well I remember my discomfort with first time sex and a new lover when I was in my early twenties. The one question that drove my crazy was: "If I'm too drunk to remember what the sex was like, how will I ever learn?" I would periodically stop drinking booze all together and it helped a lot-- shyness gradually disappeared.

The one big tip you are looking for is to STOP consuming alcohol altogether!

You must make up your mind not to drink if you can't control the amount. Later on when I discovered pot, it was far superior for sex and pleasure. But even then, my best sex was always being conscious of what was happening. That is essential for all of us in order to grow. If you can't control your alcohol consumption, go to an AA meeting for support. Or some form of support group. The sooner the better.

Dr. Betty