Articles

Dear Dr. Betty,

I'm 17 years old and my boyfriend and I have been engaging in oral sex for the whole of our relationship. My problem is that when i give him a blowjob and he cums in my mouth i just can't swallow.

The first time I swallowed it I wanted to spit it out. It was a taste i was not used to and to me, being not sexually experienced and not really knowing what cum is supposed to taste like, it tasted weird. I kind of set myself up for swallowing when i told him before i gave him head for the first time that i didn't find swallowing a problem. Well I was wrong.

He knows i don't particularly like swallowing because every blowjob i would give him thereafter i would make up some excuse to not swallow and he would cum into a handful of tissues. I feel guilty for not swallowing because i feel like i'm letting him down by not doing so (letting down is probably the wrong term. it's more like i'm ruining his confidence). Although he tells me that he's fine with not swallowing I can tell that on the inside he feels differently. I don't know what to do and I certainly do not want to tell him that his cum tastes bad because that would damage his ego and possibly our "sex lives". What should I do?

Dear L,

This is such a perfect example of a woman protecting the male ego! Let me quote you: "I feel guilty for not swallowing because I feel like I'm letting him down by not doing so (like I'm ruining his confidence)."

You go on to say that he tells you he's fine with you not swallowing but somehow you can magically tell that on the inside he feels differently. Your mind reading abilities warn you not to tell him that his cum tastes bad because that would damage his ego and possibly your "sex lives". Personally I have never liked the flavor of semen. There is nothing wrong with you spitting it out in a tissue or for him to continue finishing himself off.

You ask: "What should I do?" I say put yourself first! Don't swallow! He's already said it's OK the way things are now. If you forced yourself to swallow each time, you will eventually build up a resentment and start to avoid oral sex. Being honest about how YOU feel is the best course, not self-sacrifice to keep a man!

Dr. Betty