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Hi Betty!

I just recently stumbled across your website and it's helped me a lot but I have a few questions about more specific things. I'm a 17 year old girl who has masturbated since 6th or 7th grade (12-13yrs old). When I first started I used my hand once or twice but then I read about using an electric toothbrush which worked really well, I used that method for a while until I learned about the shower head method which did wonders!

During those years I didn't use just my hands for a long time, but now at 17 I'm trying to stimulate my clitoris by just massaging it using my hands and I find it extremely difficult to achieve any sort of pleasure... I've been using pillows and that seems to work well but after reading some of your articles I want to if there is a reason I can't feel a lot of pleasure from just using my hands and if there's any way I can change that? I've been trying to awaken my clitoris but since I've been masturbating for quite some time I think that it already is awakened?

I'm not sure what to do I would really appreciate some feedback or tips so I can guide myself to experiencing good hand stimulation. Thank you so much!

Dear N,

Once your clitoris gets used to a more intense form of stimulation like electric toothbrushes or water from a shower head, it's only natural to want\need a form of stimulation that is as strong or even stronger. Since you are so young, if you REALLY want to only use your hands, then stop all other forms of contact. This often comes up once you have a boyfriend who wants to give you an orgasm. In which case, you'll need to show him what and how you like to be touched.

This means that you will have to focus more on using your mind to get turned on with some hot sexual fantasies during masturbation. Also get some organic massage oil and begin all self-loving sessions with an overall vulva massage. Keep reading the website to gain more understanding. View our streaming videos. Read Sex for One. Check out other websites like Scarletteen. Avoid watching porn because it's based on men's fantasies which doesn't include a woman's sexual needs. And be patient. You have a lifetime to develop your sexual self with marvelous orgasms galore.

Dr. Betty