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Hi Betty,

I know that you say to take what you do in masturbation into partner sex and I have done this and have great orgasms with my partner manually. My question is this. How do you transfer what you might like in oral sex into partner sex? I cannot teach myself this and then transfer it like you can with touching yourself. I find when we have oral sex it feels a bit uncomfortable and not arousing. He is in the right place but it feels like his tongue is poking my clitoris and I dont know what to tell him to make it feel good. Maybe the answer is just to practice different things but would appreciate your advice.

Dear S,

You need to tell your boyfriend what you just told me. When doing this, start with a compliment about something he does that you like. Then say it would feel better if he kept his tongue flat and wet instead of rigid which feels like he's poking your clit.

Our poor men are very dedicated to staying hard so he even keeps his tongue erect. Use your relaxed tongue on his arm to show him what would feel better. Most guys are very grateful for any information we can give them. This also opens up the possibility that he can tell you what would feel better when you do oral on him. These kinds of talks are best before or after a sexual moment. And yes, practice makes perfect!

Dr. Betty