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Dear Dr. Betty,

Help. I think I've trained my pelvic muscles to push out instead of in - I can expel one of your barbells easily when I cum but I cannot easily 'stop mid-pee', and now I am peeing when I cough...

I really need a suggestion re: weights or a toy/tool that will help me IDENTIFY and retrain my muscles correctly (I do squirt when I cum, don't know if that is related) there are so many weights and kegel exercisers online, I'm hoping you've got an expert opinion on this.

Thank you so much in advance

N

Dear N,

Yes, this is quite common so know you are one among many. The problem of Urinary Incontinence affects both women and men. Especially women who've given birth and never followed up with their Kegel exercises. Go the section on my website under Betty's Vaginal Barbell. You already have the resistance device that came with instructions, but in case you threw the instructions out, you can read them again on the website.

Get a free standing and a good light you can aim. Sit on the floor and view your sex organ as you squeeze (lift up) and release (relax). That's just to let go but NOT push out. Observe the movement that can easily be seen. Your anus, vaginal opening and clitoris will move with each muscle contraction.

Put your finger inside your vagina and squeeze the PC muscle on it. (PC is your pelvic floor). Get into the habit of exercising this muscle with the Barbell inside. It's a resistance device that aids in helping the muscle get toned. I recommend doing the exercise as part of you regular masturbation practice by adding clitoral stimulation. (Also whenever you think about it, like talking on the phone, stopping at traffic lights, etc).

Are you a natural squirting or did you learn how? Either way, you can retrain those muscles to lift rather than push out. But it will take patience, practice and time to change this pattern. Happy orgasms while squeezing and releasing.

Dr. Betty