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Dear Dr. Betty,

I have a condition called Hidradenitis suppurativa and it causes bumps on my groin area that then turn into a sort of keloid thing. I'm a 20 yr old female and i would like to lose my virginity but the fear of explaining this to a 20yr old boy is sooo scary.

I don't have a boyfriend or anyone in particular that id like to lose my virginity to but how do i even begin to approach this with a person? id really like to get oral sex but i fear they'll think its because I'm dirty.

Thank You for your informative site, it makes me feel proud to be a woman and not be ashamed of my pro sexual liberation ideals.

truly, E

Dear E,

When you meet the boy you like and want to have sex with him, tell him your concern up front. Depending upon his response, you can take the next step and show him. There's nothing to explain it is what it is. I'd drop the big name because it sounds too scary. Just refer to it as a skin condition and explain that it is not a disease and the bumps are not contagious. The right boy will understand. Now it's up to you to accept yourself.

Dr. Betty