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Dear Betty,

I am a twenty-two year old virgin with severe rheumatoid arthritis. I've had a boyfriend now for a year, and though we have engaged in quite a lot of sexual activity, he is afraid that having sex with me will hurt me even more. I have extremely limited mobility in my left hip and right knee, and only so much stamina, but I love him and I want to try it. Even if it affects me poorly afterwards I'm still willing. Do you have any suggestions about what position might be the least likely to cause problems, and perhaps put my boyfriend at ease about hurting me?

Sincerely,

D

Dear D,

If you've never masturbated, now would be the time to learn about self-pleasuring. You want to discover what feels good in terms of clitoral stimulation and to locate your PC muscle so you can prepare your vagina for penetration. The most popular idea of partnersex is a penis going into a vagina. You can begin with an over all genital massage using massage oil and after some clitoral stimulation, slowly penetrate your vagina with your own finger while you squeeze and release you PC muscle. Breathe out loud.

Just remember that there are many ways for couples to enjoy each other without the standard image of man-on-top fucking. Oral sex is usually one of the best ways for women to get adequate clitoral sensation in partnersex. For that treat, all you have to do is lay comfortably on your back. You can support your difficult side and let with pillows. I suggest you get my book "Orgasms for Two" that's full of information as well as positions that work for women who want to use vibrators for clitoral stimulation during intercourse.

I agree with you, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Just go slow, share what you are feeling at all times to reassure your boyfriend that you're okay. Keep it playful and have fun experimenting.

Betty