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Dear Dr. Betty,

When my boyfriend and I first met we were always having sex and trying new things in the bedroom. Now it seems like he can go weeks without it and I still want sex every few days or so. Then I get frustrated because he doesn't want to have sex and we have an argument and he gets more stressed out about it. I don't want to ruin my relationship with him. Do you have any advice on what to do to make him want sex more? Or what I can do?

Dear E,

What you have described is fairly common. We are usually hot at the beginning of the relationship and then as time goes on, sexual desire on the part of one or both often cools down. Sounds like it's time for you to get a few sex toys. Then the next time you feel like having sex, plug in your vibrator, lube up your dildo and start running a fantasy while you get off. Invite him to join you if he feels like it. Then after you have an orgasm or two with or without him, go about the rest of your day or evening allowing yourself to be happy and sexually satisfied.

Once he knows you can satisfy yourself, the pressure to perform or to "do you" is off him. He might even be inclined to compete with your new sex toys. We can't "make" anyone want sex but we can take care of our own sexual appetites.

Dr. Betty