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Dear Dr. Betty,

I love your website. I consider myself reasonably well informed but I've learned quite a lot from it. I'd appreciate your comments on a problem I have. When my husband stimulates my 'G' spot during his manual manipulation it feels wonderful. The problem is afterward I have frequent, urgent and often false needs to urinate. These sudden feelings of needing to take a pee sometimes go on for several days.

The consequences are so uncomfortable that I discourage him from engaging in the stimulation at all; a shame really. I should mention that I am fifty-five post menopausal and on HRT.

Any advice you can offer would be appreciated. Keep up the good work.

S

Dear S,

As you may or may not know, I’m not a big fan of g-spot stimulation. Although most men seem to love it, this type of stimulation certainly doesn’t work for me nor does it delight all women universally. The name “G-spot” is very misleading. There is no spot on the ceiling of the vagina. We are talking about a spongy erectile tissue that surrounds our urinary tract that lays on the other side of the vaginal ceiling. This spongy tissue fills up with blood during sexual excitement. Its purpose is to protect the urinary tract from friction during intercourse so we don’t get those feelings of having to pee urgently afterward. Now our lovers are going inside our vaginas and applying strong pressure to the very place that Mother Nature has tried to protect from friction.

Get my book “Orgasms for Two” and discover all the wonderful ways to share orgasms that don’t require any suffering afterward. The shame is not disappointing your lover. A bigger shame is his attachment to a technique that he believes shows proof that you’ve had an orgasm. But then you suffer the consequences later. Unfortunately, squirting from G stimulation does not necessarily equal an orgasm. It has been demonstrated that women can perform this “parlor trick” without any feelings that usually accompany the release of a clitoral orgasm. Next time you’re fucking, YOU stimulate your clitoris at the same time with however you do it when you masturbate. It doesn't matter how we have our orgasms as long as we enjoy them without paying the price of discomfort afterward.

Betty