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Betty,

I am a 23 year old and I've never had an orgasm. I've never had sex (though I like to say I took my own virginity!). I masturbate a lot, at least once a day. I mostly don't use toys, but I do have an array over tried out. For some reason I always reach the same stopping point regardless of if I'm with a partner, by myself, using toys, or not using toys. Whenever I reach this stopping point i just don't want to continue. It feels weird and it's not really pleasant. Sometimes when at exactly the moment I reach this stopping point I start crying and I have no idea why. This has happened with partners and when I'm by myself.

I really do want to have an orgasm but I just can't seem to go past this point. Do you have any idea why it feels so weird? Also, any insight into the random crying? Have you encountered any of this before? Thanks in advance!

Dear S,

I've encountered this a million times from young women with exaggerated ideas about what an orgasm will feel like. Forget the screaming, writhing faked orgasms of porn. Orgasms can be subtle and sweet with a minimum of sound and outward movements or our bodies..

That "stopping point" you refer to most likely indicates you have already had an orgasm, but were unable to identify it. That's when every clitoris shuts down and sends out an unpleasant burning sensation to signal it's owner she needs a rest after just firing off 8000 nerve endings. Listen to your damn body and STOP demanding some unrealistic dramatic response based on false knowledge.Go inside the website and read "Awakening the Clitoris."

Dr. Betty