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Hi Betty,

I came across your website whilst reading up on labiaplasty. This is something I have been doing for a few years now, but realistically the potential fall out is too great a risk (loss of sensitivity, bleeding, recovery etc). My Problem is I read all of your articles and what women say about their labia's - some say the inner minora is 1/4 of an inch longer... Mine is 2 inches longer than my Labia Majora.

I honestly don't know if this okay? I have looked at so many pictures of other vulvas online and I can't see the extremity of mine anywhere. I have nothing else to go off other than pictures online and blogs of other women;s insecurities and so I am hoping you can shed some light on what you think I should do and whether this all does sound normal, maybe I'm the exception to the rule and do need this surgery? It affects my mind, the way I feel about myself, and my sex life overall. It plagues my mind and I want to gain some kind of control. I'm not an insecure or worrysome person at all, and there are things I wish I could change for sure but this truly over comes me. Pathetic I know.

I fantasize about being comfortable with my vulva and allowing myself to be seen intimately but I don't know if this day will ever come. I'm 28 now and I just want these thoughts gone. What should I do - I would appreciate any advise at all.

Many thanks
A

Dear A,

Pathetic indeed and yet it's still driving you crazy, yes? It never dawned on me to measure my long dangling inner labia especially the one on the right side. Once I learned it was erectile tissue and part of my sexual arousal, I began to feel proud that I was so "well hung" like a guy with a big dick!

Also it helped to have a lover who adored long labia. For him, my vulva was more delicious to suck on when he did oral sex. So you must chose your own path...to continue to obsess over this or begin to take some pride in you vulva, long labia especially. There is no such thing as "normal" so make an even bigger effort to get over your obsession!

The other option is always there but surgery doesn't seem fair, not until you've shared your vulva with at least 3 different guys--then see how you feel. I'm rooting for you to LOVE yourself just the way you are!

PS. Just stopped to measure mine! And I've got you beat by nearly 1/16th of an inch, so bla bla, I win!

Dr. Betty