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Dear Betty,

I'm a 22-year-old female in a healthy relationship. I lost my virginity at the age of 18, but I had been achieving clitoral orgasms since the age of 14 on my own. Since having a few different partners, I am unsure whether I have ever had a real vaginal orgasm.

I have never really got much out of sex in the past, but with my current boyfriend everything is great as he always ensures I am fully aroused before sex and makes sure that if he (on the rare occasion) comes first, that I still get mine.

With him I do get a building sensation during sex and fluttery feeling inside which usually peaks, which I assume is the orgasm. The reason I'm questioning it is it's not as big as a clitoral orgasm.

I was speaking to a female friend and she was telling me how she has these HUGE orgasms during sex and I know we're all different but it made me wonder whether I actually achieve a proper vaginal orgasm.

If you could clear up any differences your aware of that would be great!

Many thanks

L

Dear L,

It's never a good idea to measure ourselves against some thing another woman reports especially when it comes to sex. A clitoral orgasm is more direct and they are usually always stronger in the sensation department. However, a vaginal orgasm takes longer and it has the added emotional content of your beloved inside you.

How about having both kinds of stimulation at the same time, clitoral and vaginal? That turned out to be my favorite, especially when I am doing my own clitoris while my lover is focused on slow penetration. In the end, an orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm. So enjoy all of them.

Dr. Betty