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Dear Betty,

I am 62 years old. I don't want to talk to my male doctor. I feel a woman is more qualified but don't want to go a female doctor just to tell her this story. I really feel kind of crazy. A couple of years ago I was masturbating (fingers only - nothing inserted) and about mid way or towards the end of my very intense orgasm I felt a "POP". Not painful but felt pressure. (Years ago, I was told by one sex partner that my clitoris was hard to get to and that it sat way back. After that comment I always wondered if that was why it was so hard for me to reach an orgasm.)

Anyway, the next morning before my shower I decided to get a mirror and examine myself because of that weird "pop". Well I was shocked. My hood looked swollen and when I pulled it back there was a small penis that I had never had before. (I assume it was there but hiding?) OMG! My orgasms are different. My method of achieving an orgasm is different as I have a new toy! My orgasms are not as intense and feel they are not as deep.

Also, after years of not having a sex partner I found out when I had sex recently with a partner that my orgasm was easier, however not as strong or satisfying. Still quite wonderful but I actually want more. I was use to one orgasm and it was soooo intense and exhausting I was good for a month.

(I know,funny, but not to my ex-husband) My new boyfriend, unfortunately, lives out of state and therefore my 4 day visit resulted in having sex only three times. Although satisfying, I realize now I have to learn myself all over again. (Kind of exciting) I did have just enough sex to realize sex is different now. Could my clitoris have been blocked/held back by a piece of skin that finally broke? Could I be the only one that has ever experienced this?

Dear B,

There is rarely anything new under the sun so I doubt you are the only one to have experienced this. I Also I doubt your lovers assessment that your clitoris was hard to get to because "it sat way back." The clitoral hood that covers the sensitive glans varies from woman to woman, similar to a man's foreskin. So the tip of the glans doesn't always show. But with a moistened finger moving from side to side, you can feel the shaft under the hood that I describe as feeling like a rubber band. It attaches the female phallus to the pubic bone.

Instead of speculating or worrying about the mysterious "pop" I'd suggest you just enjoy your orgasms in any form they come in. It sounds to me like you are having a better sexlife than most older women. There is no way I can answer your question without examining your clitoris under a bright light. I'm enclosing a link of me drawing the Internal clitoris. It's far more extensive than most of us know.

Happy orgasms,

Dr. Betty

Dear Betty,

What a great surprise that you answered my email! Now I know you are for real. I was also afraid you would not take me serious.

You are so funny. Love your sense of humor and loved the drawing as one artist to another. I didn't know the extent of my inner clitoris and never really thought about it until now. Thanks for the enlightenment! I guess I am among a generation of women who rarely talked about or were educated about our anatomy.

I will adhere to your suggestion and promise not to worry or concern myself with my probable deformity before the "pop". I can now refocus on my inhibitions. (I sense "eye rolling" here) hahaha...

My clitoris is happier, I guess, since it's not being "restrained" (I feel this word fits) and really lets me know it is there now. Before, I could not feel the shaft and now it is quite evident.

Thank you so much for answering. You have helped me not feel so weird. I don't know about "most older women" but I will definately continue to enjoy my sex life with or without a partner. Hopefully with, as my new lover/boyfriend is..."all that and a box of chocolates"!

Sincerely,
B