Desperate for an Orgasm During Sex with Husband
Betty Dodson
Submitted on
Hi Betty,
I've been in the same relationship since I was 18. I'm 35 and just had my first clit orgasm on my own. Sex with my partner is sooo boring. I've tried all kinds of ways to liven it up. He prefers showers with oral pleasure. To top it off he is very small and my g spot is abnormally deep.
He doesn't like toys which only leave me foreplay which last just as long as sex: 1.5 mins. We have a teen so opportunities are even more limited. At this point he feels like a brother not a lover.
My frustration is so high that I sometimes walk away during sex just so he can feel what not being satisfied is like. I don't even know what question to ask now. I'm just desperate for sexual pleasure and I'm ready to look elsewhere.
Dear N,
Right now, if you went outside your marriage to have sex with some new guy, chances are good the same scenario would take place, except for the excitement of having sex with a new person. But the next guy could easily think all women come from vaginal penetration which is a cruel myth! We can thank porn for this dismal state of heterosexuality.
The next bit of misinformation is the stupid G spot. Women who can"squirt" all say the same thing: It's not an orgasm. And those quick ejaculations that your husband is having are not the same as orgasm either. So he's getting a minimum of orgasmic pleasure too. Welcome to sexually repressed puritanical America. My approach for mutual orgasms is to combine clitoral stimulation with vaginal penetration at the same time.
If it's taken this long for you to discover your clitoris and you wrongly believe that the problem is your G spot being too deep or his dick too small, you have a lot to learn about your own sexuality. This must come first before anything else. Time for you to have a love affair with yourself. I'm enclosing links to get you started. You are very young at 35 so learn about female sexuality, log in some really good orgasms from self-loving and when you seek a new partner which I recommend, you'll have your own orgasms in place so you'll have something to share.
Dr. Betty