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Dear Betty,

I recently found your website and have been learning loads. I have been trying your techniques and though I am still working on it, I am super hopeful. There is tiny part of me thats a little worried.

I am 30 and have not masturbated for long period of my life. When i was younger i felt shame from it and resisted the urge....a little part of me worries i cant orgasm because of clitoral atrophy! I feel silly as its probably my own neurosis, but given that im only very recently sexually active I worry I may have started this journey too late.

Y

Dear Y,

The ideal scenario is for kids to masturbate at a young age and get no mean spirited threats about stopping. But that's the ideal which rarely exists. You start when you start and with practice and an open mind you will uncover your orgasms. I recently worked with a woman in her early 80's who had never experienced an orgasm and when she came after a couple of hours of using an electric vibrator, she asked, "That's it?" When I reassured her she had just had a climax she then said, "Well, it that's an orgasm, then why in the hell do we think it's such a big deal?"

I explained that her orgasms would grow stronger with more experience but she wasn't sure it was worth all the effort. So, different strokes for different folks. Never having an orgasm just means the longing constantly hangs over your head from not knowing. There is no way a clitoris can atrophy. It will just take some patience, time and practice. Consider investing in a quality electric vibrator like the Magic or Mystic Wand or a Lelo vibe. Also get some clean massage oil for a regular vulva massage. Follow my directions and then get back to me with your good news.

Dr. Betty