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Dear Dr Betty,

I am finishing my last year of university and, due to study costs, have started working in a "rub and tug" massage parlour where I apply myself in oil, massaging and sliding over a male's body before performing hand relief.

What risks am I being exposed to? If my nipples rub against his penis am I susceptible to STD's? I am also under increasing pressure from management to perform "doubles" with other girls from the establishment, due to hetero and lesbian couples wanting this service. I regularly fantasize over hetero porn and the way that females react, but when put in front of me, I can't do it.

When it comes to the reality of masturbating another woman, I just can't do it, even though I fantasize about it regularly. What is going on?

Regards, F

Dear F,

You are in no danger of contacting STD's from your nipples touching a man's penis except maybe Herpes (see article by Suzie) which I have trouble seeing as a sexually transmitted disease. It's like saying catching the common cold is a sexually transmitted disease. The scary one is HIV that travels only blood to blood or semen to blood so you're safe giving hand jobs.

As to why you can't stimulate another woman's clitoris and vulva is definitely based on your heterosexual conditioning and the basic sexual repression and inhibition we all get growing up in counties like puritanical America and Australia where you come from.

I hope you are masturbating to orgasm frequently. If you have a block about touching yourself, that's the first place to start. Most of my website is devoted to female masturbation so read away or get my books and DVD's.

In terms of my own experience about doing any new sexual activity like sucking a cock and swallowing, or going down on a woman for the first time, or having my first threesome, there was always a fear factor that paralyzed me. Yet the idea of these activities turned me on.

Once I was able to move through my inhibition, I had to laugh at myself. It was like standing at the edge of the ocean watching everyone enjoy riding the waves and wanting to join them. But when I put my foot in the water it was icy cold, so I would hesitate. After agonizing over yes or no for however long, I'd finally do it. The rush was always exhilarating. That short distance between desire and hesitation is inhibition. Just do it! Then you can decide if you want to do it again or not.

Betty