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Dear Dr. Betty,

I'm one of a few women I know who have rarely been able to experience painless sex. In all my frustration I've seen countless GPs & specialists - they've all given me the same standard (but unhelpful) advice that I need to try other positions, or I need more lubrication. At the moment, I might as well be having sex in a olympic pool of olive oil.

One concept I have stumbled across is Vaginismus. It describes the same burning/stinging sensation I feel during sex, and the same unusually painful muscle tightness the entire duration of sex. What interested me particularly is that it touches upon the PC muscles, or pelvic floor muscles - which I understand you're quite an expert on.

I wonder, do you have any existing exercises to solve such an issue? To "loosen" or relax the muscles for sex?

Dear R,

Climb out of your "Olympic pool of olive oil" and tune into your your clitoris. As long as you experience pain, stop doing vaginal penetration and focus on other forms of sharing sexual pleasures. Such as manual and oral sex. I know most men can't wait to dive into a warm wet vagina, but meanwhile warm wet mouths and hands dipped into that pool of olive oil will certainly suffice. For those of us who like to experiment with all of our orifices, I enjoy anal penetration with a vibrator on my clitoris, nice and slow with me in charge.

I wouldn't consider myself an expert on the PC muscle however I do engage mine consistently during masturbation and vaginal/anal penetration to enhance penetration orgasms. The best pelvic floor info I've found comes from Katy Bowman who is a master’s level Biomechanist and deals with body biodynamics . She recommends "Squats" to release tight PC muscles. Not the Gym type but like how we squat to pee out doors.

If that doesn't help to solve your dilemma, you might also investigate Vulvodynia. Not much is understood about this problem except it's some kind of mysterious mis-wiring of our nerves. Google around but spend some quality time with www.KatySays.com as she is the real deal when it comes to understanding our bodies.

Dr. Betty