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Dear Dr. Betty,

My spouse of 38 years has developed a wound on her clitoris that actually bleeds. We engage in mutual masturbation on a weekly basis, especially since my prostatectomy for prostate cancer. Since reading your information on masturbation, she has been using the Hitachi magic wand exclusively.

She bears down on it when really turned on and recently observed what appears to be an open wound (tear) near her clitoris. She has refrained from using the wand for three weeks but the wound doesn't seem to be improving. She feels the aggressive use of the Wand is the reason for the wound. Does this sound right to you?

Thanks, J

Dear JH,

Sorry to hear about your wife's wound. Yes, bearing down excessively hard can cause what I call a vibrator burn where some of the skin has been removed. It so rarely happens I don't discuss it much. Did she read my instructions on the best use of the Wand? Does she use the vibrator directly without some cloth between her and the head? Is she using any lubrication on her vulva before vibrating?

Since she is way past menopause, all of the skin on our genitals becomes thinner. However, mucous membrane usually heals quickly. If this sore remains, she needs to see her health care provider. Meanwhile, going without underwear, wearing loose clothes and letting air get to area (or even better sunshine) should help the healing along. I'd love to know how you solved this problem.

Dr. Betty