Because I Love Bodysex
After we released our Bodysex film, women started emailing like crazy wanting to be in a real bodysex group. Betty was clear: there was no way she was going to do more groups. I didn't even try to persuade her - I'm always talking her into interviews/trips/lectures and I know how much energy it takes for her to run a group.
A few months ago I came into the office and as we were eating lunch Betty announced, "why don't we do three bodysex groups this Fall?" I couldn't believe it...I nearly choked on my sandwich. Fearing she would change her mind, I asked if we could announce the groups in our youtube clip (once Betty commits she commits). It took less than two months to book 30 women for the three groups. What's really exciting is that women from all over the world have signed up: Israel, Mexico, Paris, Canada and Poland.
This past weekend was our first group. In Ab Fab fashion, Betty and I went out to sushi the night before and had entirely too much saki. We were both nursing hang overs Saturday morning. Betty always says that sometimes you have to "blow it out your ass" and I think we needed to calm our nerves. Betty was nervous because she hadn't run a group in over 25 years. I was nervous because I'd never run a group period.
One women arrived an hour early. I could feel her anxiety so I had her sit with me in the kitchen and talk while I cut up veggies. She'd come from California...we talked about her life and how she found her way here. I loved her instantly.
One by one the other women came in. Betty specified that I had to answer the door naked (that's how she did it for years). When I opened the door sans clothes, they laughed and giggled - one of the women exclaimed, "I can't believe you're in 3D...that you're real". We hugged. They all took off their clothes and hung them on the 13 hooks in Betty's vestibule and entered the living room - today the "temple".
As we went around the circle and answered the questions, "how to you feel about your body" - "how do you feel about your orgasm", the similarities of the female experience were striking. And what are the odds that the woman sitting to my left was also a preacher's kid (PK) raised in an evangelical home? Amazing.
The big bonding moment is when we do genital show and tell after the group share. All the nervousness of being nude in front of complete strangers melts away. And as we look at the beauty of each woman's sex organ you see the smiles break out. Bodies relax and boundaries fade away. The healing is to view your own sex organ in a mirror with a light - to examine all the structures and share that with others. Nothing is more beautiful.
All the women went out to dinner after Day 1. Betty and I staying in and ordered take out because we were so exhausted. Betty fell asleep at the table...I cleaned up the kitchen and headed home. We both slept 11 hours that night. I couldn't wait for Day 2.
We assembled in the circle and shared our thoughts about Day 1. Almost every woman talked about how well she'd slept. When it was my turn, I shared how I'd tried to walk away from Betty...from our partnership twice. To do this kind of work, you have to confront your flaws, make peace with your past, and be who you truly are in this life. It was agonizing and I wanted to quit but Betty wouldn't let me go. Looking at all these women, I knew I'd made the right decision. And I'm a better person for it. I love what I do to the point that it's not work. I look forward to every day.
Betty went through all the items on the tray next to each woman in the circle: the almond oil, the mystic wand and our vaginal barbell. We practiced penetration and then it was time for "erotic recess". We were free to use our toys however we wanted. One of the women went right to it and had two huge orgasms. Her sounds were beautiful. I loved looking around the room - it was the most breathtaking montage.
After a few orgasms, I asked if the women wanted to see some other vibrator positions. I started sitting indian style with the vibrator between my feet angled towards my clitoris. Then we went into the pillow f*ck - I placed my vibrator on a pillow and straddled it. I love this position because I like to hump my vibrator. I came so hard...my arms were shaking...my entire body was shaking. I looked up and was transfixed by the woman across from me. Her blond hair cascading over her body as she orgasmed - wow.
Betty asked if the women wanted to do group massage. I grabbed the zebra blankets and laid them on the floor. We had two groups. One woman would lay down while the other four would massage her body with oil for ten minutes on each side. I can't explain how healing non-sexual touch is and how beautiful each woman becomes when you touch her body. There's an appreciation that comes over you and a deep respect.
Someone suggested that we all massage Betty. She laid down and we gathered around her - we talked and laughed and loved this woman who'd brought us all together. It was such an inspiring moment. We were all covered head to toe in almond oil glistening in the early evening light.
As the final ritual, we sat indian style knee-to-knee in a small circle and held hands: left hand up to receive and right hand down to give. That's when Betty announce that she wanted to continue doing bodysex groups. We all cheered. She looked at me and said, "with you I can do anything". We threw our hands into the air and wiggled our fingers releasing the energy into the universe.
Thank you to all these amazing women and their beautiful vulvas: