Your Body is Yours. Your Womb is Yours. Pleasure is Your Birthright.
Lawrence Lanoff
Submitted on
On the heals of the Royal Wedding, it occurs to me that women around the world are in a mental prison, their pleasure held captive by unattainable fairy tales.
This past Monday, I lead a private retreat for women only, and I focused on breaking free of the fairy tales that keep women down.
Take “Prince Charming” for example. This mythical image is really a story about how a single woman is supposed to obediently behave in her mind and body. Notice how she timidly and painfully lives in an ivory tower - separated from life - waiting for a prince to rescue her.
In other words, the prince has all the keys to her happiness. Without him, she is nothing, she is trapped. Furthermore, he is the doorway to her freely expressed sexuality. Notice that, if she is pure, virginal, sweet, sincere - and hasn’t already been fucked - then he will come for her. He will save her. If she is soiled and dirty, she risks being alone forever.
If he doesn’t come for her, then she is left with the feeling that there is something wrong with her; she is soiled in her soul.
I’m sure you’re thinking, ”this doesn’t apply to me,” but that’s because you don’t understand how your brain works. There is part of your brain that’s dumb. Really dumb. The dumb brain is the cave brain, and it lives life as if we were living 150,000 years ago. The dumb brain believes deeply whatever mommy and daddy told you. If mommy left you with the impression that sex is bad, evil, or dirty, then the dumb brain takes it as truth. If mommy said, “one day your prince will come”, then the dumb brain painfully waits.
The effects of these stories are subtle to your rational brain, but the dumb brain takes them as law. As a result, the abused and repressed become the self-abusers, and self oppressors, obediently enforcing society’s rules and laws about female sexuality - through myths, stories, and religious belief.
One way out, is to begin to notice the frames that keep you in mental prison. By observing confusion or emotional conflict inside your body, you can begin to set yourself free.
Notice where you feel shame, and restricted pleasure in your mind and body. Somewhere in there - in the midst of the turmoil, questioning, and conflict - your dumb brain is in charge.
Because the dumb brain is so dumb, little fairy tales easily take us prisoner. It’s important to question - and even categorically reject - the myths that hold you back in your life.
Your body is yours. Your womb is yours. Pleasure is your birthright. It’s spring. It’s time for a change!