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A friend asked me about soft penetration with her lover, so I thought I would share a bit about this very misunderstood subject.

We live in a culture where a stiff cock means everything. However, thinking a stiff cock is all there is - and that something is wrong if it ain’t - is like trying to inhale all the time. You can’t. We need the inhale and the exhale.

It was through tantra I first noticed the sexual exhale that I call ‘soft penetration’. It was something that occurred naturally and often. That is to say, when I was completely immersed in the energy of the moment, my cock wasn’t always hard. I began referring to this as my lunar cock - the opposite of a solar cock. Instead of it being fully locked and loaded, it tended to be soft and receptive.

This especially happened when I took the emphasis off of placing object A into slot B - and began spreading powerful pleasure feelings throughout my body.

I noticed as I became less erection focused, there was a vulnerability that opened up in my body-feeling world. Something shifted into a lot more openness. For me, this was more of a receptive, subtle sex-energy experience. In this sense, I had the feeling of openness, relaxation, freedom from performance tension. I could breathe with my lover and experience a flow of powerful sexual energy.

Here’s where it gets interesting. By taking the focus off that tiny ‘exact’ pleasure point on the hard penis and extending the sensations of bliss and pleasure throughout the entire body, we can feel a connectedness between cock, heart, and head.

Furthermore, a man in this altered state can soften further and let his partner energetically penetrate him - while the partner imagines his or her sexual energy entering the softness and penetrating all the way into his brain. This can be done body to body, or by projecting energy through the hands.

I call this soft, penetrative sex, energetic pleasure sex. It’s very sweet and delicious. And if a man can relax into it, he can directly experience his own vulnerability and share that with his lover. It’s really a beautiful thing and oft overlooked in the days of the 4 hour Viagra cock.

When it comes to soft penetration, think meditation. Think restorative sex. Think breath, sound, energetic penetration, movement, vulnerability and openness.

Also think oxytocin - because it starts to flow too. Soft penetration is a great way to deepen our connection, intimacy and bond with our lovers.