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Should We Have Sex as a Couple Then Start to "Mix"?

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Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I decided to find a couple to have sex with (let's call him) my sex friend and me. Both of us are pretty excited, but I have some doubts...do you think we could start with having sex as a couple and the couple does the same... in terms of getting comfortable ... and maybe then start to "mix"? or is it a weird idea?

Thank you
(BTW - thanks to you I convinced at least one man that a feminist is manĀ“s best friend :) )

Dear E,

There is nothing wrong or weird about your idea of two couples having sex in the same room as a way to later swap partners. When I was in my twenties, my boyfriend and I ended up in a room that we had to share with another couple. During the night we all became aware that each couple was having sex in the darkened room.

I found it very exciting to simply hear the sounds of sex with only vague glimpses of bodies. I wouldn't be surprised if you ended up sharing sex that same night. Anything to take a break from the bondage of sexual exclusivity that we honor by worshiping monogamy, the eventual killer of sexual desire no matter how much we "love" our significant others.

Dr. Betty

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