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Hi Betty,

I need help, I'm finally with a partner I enjoy, but he's super huge and I'm not so much. I also suffer from vaginsmus, since my first time was very traumatic. He tried to put it in the other day and it was an epic fail, I blame in part the fact that he was on his lunch break, oh well, we tried.

My other partner had no trouble, yet he's more experienced and wasn't expecting to get it in under 30 minutes. Penetration has always been the bane of my existence, any tips on how I can overcome it and not feel like I'm defective. Due to religious upbringing, I also fake it all the time.

Any tips for that would also be helpful.

Dear L,

You need more than "tips"when it comes to enjoying sex with a partner. I'd say closer to a complete overhaul. Things will get better when you start to help yourself. You need to be masturbating regularly with your preference for clitoral stimulation while practicing vaginal penetration. Check out Betty Vaginal Barbell and get in touch with your pelvic floor muscle (PC muscle).

Also STOP faking orgasm which only keeps your BF stupid and dumb about female sexuality. Given your tight pussy with a past problem of trying to accomplish penetration and you tried doing it during your lunch hour? That indicates you're a man pleaser to the detriment of your own orgasm and well being. You also need to use an abundance of some nice organic massage oil and TAKE YOUR TIME while putting yourself first.

There is nothing more exciting to a man than being with an authentically orgasmic woman. Now go practice.

Dr. Betty